I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm going right downstairs, unfold the couch, unroll the sleeping ba- uh, goodnight.

Quote by Dan Castellaneta

Topics: Women Quotes

Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television.

Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should...

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should...

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step...

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step...

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!

English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!

One of my favorite episodes was the one in which Homer grew hair. That was...

One of my favorite episodes was the one in which Homer grew hair. That was...

Bart! With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...

Bart! With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against...

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against...

I often say, if I wasn't part of the show I'd be a huge fan...

I often say, if I wasn't part of the show I'd be a huge fan...

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge...

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge...

After years of doing it, you learn the difference between your ego and your opinion....

After years of doing it, you learn the difference between your ego and your opinion....

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Hold up your cups and sing along, to one more drinking song.

Hold up your cups and sing along, to one more drinking song.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

Why did I allow myself to be bored ever in the past and to compensate...

Why did I allow myself to be bored ever in the past and to compensate...

Every disasters screams for humor

Every disasters screams for humor

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you...

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you...