I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm going right downstairs, unfold the couch, unroll the sleeping ba- uh, goodnight.

Quote by Dan Castellaneta

Topics: Women Quotes

It is better to watch things then to do them.

It is better to watch things then to do them.

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have...

Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have...

Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!

Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should...

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should...

I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football...

I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football...

I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what...

I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what...

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against...

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against...

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

I think the tone of the show has certainly changed over the years, because it's...

I think the tone of the show has certainly changed over the years, because it's...

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

After years of doing it, you learn the difference between your ego and your opinion....

After years of doing it, you learn the difference between your ego and your opinion....

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else...

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else...

It's a different way of getting across an emotion. You're trying to get it across...

It's a different way of getting across an emotion. You're trying to get it across...

It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up.

It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up.