Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.
Quote by Marty Feldman
Marty Feldman Quotes
I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive...
Sex is two plus two making five, rather than four. Sex is the X ingredient...
Money can't buy poverty.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
In the middle ages, people took potions for their ailments. In the 19th century they...
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I...
Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and...
If you dont drink, then all of your stories suck and end with, And then...
So a man jumps into a taxi and says King Arthur's close and the taxi...
Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
Graduation Speech: I'd like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy &...
Families with babies, and families without babies are sorry for each other.
A major advantage of age is learning to accept people without passing judgment.
I can resist everything except temptation.
Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula....
It is good to have friends both in Heaven and Hell?
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
My retirement plan is to find a shopping cart with good snow tires.
Turn your wounds into wisdom.