I wish women were like hockey...Only twenty minute periods.
Education is what remains when one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
It is in the thirties that we want friends. In the forties we know they...
You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.
Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and...
Old age, especially an honoured old age, has so great authority, that this is of...
Sometimes at home I talk in my sleep, but at school I sleep while others...
Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.
It may be true that you can't fool all the people all the time, but...
He would make a lovely corpse.
The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can...
Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man.
Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung.
'The will of the nation' is one of those expressions which have been most profusely...
As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.
Some folks are wise and some otherwise.
Laughing at our friends, we avenge the disappointment they have caused.
Golf: A game in which you claim the privileges of age and retain the playthings...
When you become senile, you won't know it.
Capitalism is founded on greed and envy
There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men