Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, theyve seen me laugh, and theyve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.

Quote by Bill Maher

Topics: Funny Quotes, Government Quotes

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make...

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make...

Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.

Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.

I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.

I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else...

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else...

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs

When sex is good theres nothing better, when its bad its not bad.

When sex is good theres nothing better, when its bad its not bad.

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the...

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the...

Suicide is man's way of telling God, You can't fire me - I quit.

Suicide is man's way of telling God, You can't fire me - I quit.

A group of Cuban Americans denounced the Castro government as a fascist regime that monitors...

A group of Cuban Americans denounced the Castro government as a fascist regime that monitors...

Men are only as loyal as their options

Men are only as loyal as their options

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed...

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed...

If I wanted to have wooden sex with strings attached I'd get married. In reference...

If I wanted to have wooden sex with strings attached I'd get married. In reference...

If you think you have it tough, read history books.

If you think you have it tough, read history books.

A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10...

A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10...

I have a high state of resentment for the conformity in this country. If you're...

I have a high state of resentment for the conformity in this country. If you're...

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I...

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I...

When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you...

When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you...

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.