Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, theyve seen me laugh, and theyve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.

Quote by Bill Maher

Topics: Funny Quotes, Government Quotes

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is...

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is...

Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more...

Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more...

If you think you have it tough, read history books.

If you think you have it tough, read history books.

Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor.

Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor.

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence...

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence...

Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.

Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something...

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

Men are only as loyal as their options

Men are only as loyal as their options

Abstinence is a perversion.

Abstinence is a perversion.

It's all been satirized for your protection.

It's all been satirized for your protection.

Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.

Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

Theyre talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place thats used by ten or...

Theyre talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place thats used by ten or...

If you were on a sinking ship and yelled, Women and children first! how much...

If you were on a sinking ship and yelled, Women and children first! how much...

This is what I believe: That I am I. That my soul is a dark...

This is what I believe: That I am I. That my soul is a dark...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...