Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.

Quote by Tracy Morgan

Topics: Tracy Morgan Quotes

I can't read! I sign my name with an X! I once tried to make...

I can't read! I sign my name with an X! I once tried to make...

Your haircut is offensive to lesbians!

Your haircut is offensive to lesbians!

I do not want to disappoint our Japanese public, especially Godzilla. Hahaha! Im just kidding,...

I do not want to disappoint our Japanese public, especially Godzilla. Hahaha! Im just kidding,...

Stop eating peoples old French fries, pigeon! Have some self respect! Dont you know you...

Stop eating peoples old French fries, pigeon! Have some self respect! Dont you know you...

That's why I can't watch American Idol ... it is like karaoke without the booze.

That's why I can't watch American Idol ... it is like karaoke without the booze.

Tina Fey and I had an agreement that if Barack Obama won, I would speak...

Tina Fey and I had an agreement that if Barack Obama won, I would speak...

I love this cornbread so much, I wanna take it behind a middle school and...

I love this cornbread so much, I wanna take it behind a middle school and...

Freaky-deakies need love too.

Freaky-deakies need love too.

I'm getting too old for this ship!

I'm getting too old for this ship!

A book hasn't caused me this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber...

A book hasn't caused me this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber...

The future is like a Japanese game show, you have no idea what's going on.

The future is like a Japanese game show, you have no idea what's going on.

Are you a pre-op trans centaur?

Are you a pre-op trans centaur?

I want to hold a mirror up to society and then win world record for...

I want to hold a mirror up to society and then win world record for...

White people stole jazz, rock n' roll, Will Smith, and heart disease.

White people stole jazz, rock n' roll, Will Smith, and heart disease.

We're a team now, like Batman and Robin, like chicken and a chicken container.

We're a team now, like Batman and Robin, like chicken and a chicken container.

I was supposed to be in that movie Rush Hour, but 2 weeks into shooting,...

I was supposed to be in that movie Rush Hour, but 2 weeks into shooting,...

As soon as I beat Mel Gibson's ass on film, I'll be bigger than, I'll...

As soon as I beat Mel Gibson's ass on film, I'll be bigger than, I'll...

Here comes the fun cooker!

Here comes the fun cooker!

I'm the face of post racial America, deal with it Cate Blanchett.

I'm the face of post racial America, deal with it Cate Blanchett.

I don't need therapy, I'm just mentally ill.

I don't need therapy, I'm just mentally ill.