A man of forty today has nothing to worry him but falling hair, inability to button the top button, failing vision, shortness of breath, a tendency of the collar to shut off all breathing, trembling of the kidneys to whatever…

Quote by Robert Benchley

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to...

Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to...

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

Death ends a life, not a relationship.

Death ends a life, not a relationship.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting...

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street...

Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street...

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs...

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs...

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed...

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed...

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of...

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of...

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to...

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to...

There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading...

There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading...

Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is...

Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is...

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.