A man of forty today has nothing to worry him but falling hair, inability to button the top button, failing vision, shortness of breath, a tendency of the collar to shut off all breathing, trembling of the kidneys to whatever…

Quote by Robert Benchley

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

Death ends a life, not a relationship.

Death ends a life, not a relationship.

The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or...

The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or...

There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading...

There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading...

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for...

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for...

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street...

Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street...

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush,...

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush,...

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that...

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that...

There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into...

There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into...

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor

Mankind's struggle upwards, in which millions are trampled to death, that thousands may mount on...

Mankind's struggle upwards, in which millions are trampled to death, that thousands may mount on...

For I dipped into the future, far as human eye could see, Saw the vision...

For I dipped into the future, far as human eye could see, Saw the vision...

There are lots of people who can't think seriously without injuring their brains

There are lots of people who can't think seriously without injuring their brains