I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.

Quote by Robert Benchley

Topics: Robert Benchley Quotes

Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to...

Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to...

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have...

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have...

After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his...

After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush,...

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush,...

Death ends a life, not a relationship.

Death ends a life, not a relationship.

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive,...

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive,...

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs...

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs...

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to...

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take...

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take...

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze...

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze...

Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls...

Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls...

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things