I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.

Quote by Robert Benchley

Topics: Robert Benchley Quotes

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs...

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs...

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush,...

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush,...

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take...

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take...

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into...

There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into...

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street...

Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street...

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but...

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading...

There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading...

The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or...

The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or...

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of...

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of...