I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

Picture Quote by Mitch Hedberg

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

Topics: Funny Picture Quotes, Love Picture Quotes

The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman's point of view that men are all...

— view —

The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman's point of view that men are all...

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just...

— view —

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just...

Twenty year olds fall in and out of love more often than they change their...

— view —

Twenty year olds fall in and out of love more often than they change their...

A lot of guys think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent she...

— view —

A lot of guys think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent she...

So many books, so little time.

— view —

So many books, so little time.

There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

— view —

There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

— view —

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work

— view —

If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work

Keep smiling and one day Life will get tired of upsetting you

— view —

Keep smiling and one day Life will get tired of upsetting you

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

— view —

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

When nothing goes right.... go left.

— view —

When nothing goes right.... go left.

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal and a good woman or a bad woman....

— view —

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal and a good woman or a bad woman....

If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous...

— view —

If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous...

When I was little "I'm gonna tell your mom" was the scariest sentence ever

— view —

When I was little

Haloween=candy Thanksgiving=food Christmas=gifts New Year=drinks Valentines=sex Birthday=All the above.jpg

— view —

Haloween=candy Thanksgiving=food Christmas=gifts New Year=drinks Valentines=sex Birthday=All the above.jpg

Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels

— view —

Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels

We go together like copy and paste

— view —

We go together like copy and paste

After one look at this planet, any visitor from outer space would say I want...

— view —

After one look at this planet, any visitor from outer space would say I want...

They don't love me they only know me when they need me

— view —

They don't love me they only know me when they need me

Two people in love, alone, isolated from the world, that's beautiful.

— view —

Two people in love, alone, isolated from the world, that's beautiful.