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Tits is a word you can't say on television. That's such a friendly word. It's...

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Tits is a word you can't say on television. That's such a friendly word. It's...

What is Father Christmas' wife called ? Mary Christmas!

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What is Father Christmas' wife called ? Mary Christmas!

When 2 couples meet face to face, wives look at each other's dresses, and husbands...

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When 2 couples meet face to face, wives look at each other's dresses, and husbands...

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless,...

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Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless,...

Gravity is not responsible for people falling in love.

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Gravity is not responsible for people falling in love.

If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffe." "If you were my wife I'd...

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If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffe.

There are some things you don't want to hear. Here's something I don't want to...

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There are some things you don't want to hear. Here's something I don't want to...

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is...

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Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is...

I'm great in bed I can sleep for days.

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I'm great in bed I can sleep for days.

I'm sorry.. I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I...

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I'm sorry.. I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I...

A jealous woman does better research that the FBI.

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A jealous woman does better research that the FBI.

I swear it wasn't me.. unless it was a good thing then I did it...

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I swear it wasn't me.. unless it was a good thing then I did it...

I wish life was a remote. Play the easy times. Pause the good times. Fast...

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I wish life was a remote. Play the easy times. Pause the good times. Fast...

What I think when someone uses the computer What the hell are you doing Why...

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What I think when someone uses the computer What the hell are you doing Why...

Find what you love and let it kill you.

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Find what you love and let it kill you.

Love is a blind whore with mental disease and no sense of humor

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Love is a blind whore with mental disease and no sense of humor

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

You spent three days lying on a beach drinking rum? Welcome to the Carribbean love.

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You spent three days lying on a beach drinking rum? Welcome to the Carribbean love.

Be with a man 1. Who promises to give you laugh lines when you're old....

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Be with a man 1. Who promises to give you laugh lines when you're old....

Live every moment. Laugh every day. Love beyond words.

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Live every moment. Laugh every day. Love beyond words.