I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

Picture Quote by Mitch Hedberg

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

Topics: Funny Picture Quotes, Love Picture Quotes

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world . I know because I've...

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Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world . I know because I've...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

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Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

It's funny how you can tell someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when...

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It's funny how you can tell someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when...

A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth

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A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth

What computer do you have? And please don't say a white one.

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What computer do you have? And please don't say a white one.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to the their level and...

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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to the their level and...

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. if you...

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By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. if you...

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work...

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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work...

Sex is a sensation caused by temptation. A guy sticks his location in a girl's...

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Sex is a sensation caused by temptation. A guy sticks his location in a girl's...

When I was little "I'm gonna tell your mom" was the scariest sentence ever

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When I was little

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance.There's no doubt about it.Anytime you have a...

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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance.There's no doubt about it.Anytime you have a...

Tits is a word you can't say on television. That's such a friendly word. It's...

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Tits is a word you can't say on television. That's such a friendly word. It's...

Ahh, a little cancer never hurt anybody. Everybody needs a little cancer I think. It's...

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Ahh, a little cancer never hurt anybody. Everybody needs a little cancer I think. It's...

There is a reason it's called "Girls gone wild" and NOT "Women gone wild". When...

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There is a reason it's called

It's funny how when I'm loud people tell me to be quiet but when I'm...

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It's funny how when I'm loud people tell me to be quiet but when I'm...

New Year's Resolutions This year I resolve to be more democratic and I've made a...

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New Year's Resolutions This year I resolve to be more democratic and I've made a...

If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree.

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If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree.

The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up. Arrogance has to be earned. Anomalies...

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The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up. Arrogance has to be earned. Anomalies...

It's funny, how when someone says they love you, you can't really feel it, but...

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It's funny, how when someone says they love you, you can't really feel it, but...

Falling in love is the easiest thing you're ever gonna do. It's the most exciting...

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Falling in love is the easiest thing you're ever gonna do. It's the most exciting...