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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me

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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me

Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays...

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Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays...

Falling in love is like being the frog disected in biology class. They open you...

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Falling in love is like being the frog disected in biology class. They open you...

If each day is a gift, I would like to know where I can return...

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If each day is a gift, I would like to know where I can return...

Stop thinking of fun and have it

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Stop thinking of fun and have it

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot

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As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in...

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I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in...

I made me laugh

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I made me laugh

The lovely thing about being forty is that you can appreciate twenty-five-year-old men

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The lovely thing about being forty is that you can appreciate twenty-five-year-old men

Ability is : When you can make three generations of people laugh their socks off...

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Ability is : When you can make three generations of people laugh their socks off...

I don't care what people think of me. At least mosquitos find me attractive.

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I don't care what people think of me. At least mosquitos find me attractive.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

The next time someone asks if you have a sec, tell them 'Actually, I have...

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The next time someone asks if you have a sec, tell them 'Actually, I have...

Don't Panic.Organize!

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Don't Panic.Organize!

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where...

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The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where...

New Year's Day is every man's birthday.

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New Year's Day is every man's birthday.

At supervillain college, crazy laughter is probably a two-semester course

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At supervillain college, crazy laughter is probably a two-semester course

You know how they say that you can't live without love? Well oxigen is even...

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You know how they say that you can't live without love? Well oxigen is even...

Love is needing someone. Love is putting up with someone's bad qualities because they somehow...

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Love is needing someone. Love is putting up with someone's bad qualities because they somehow...

It's tough when someone special starts to ignore you, it's even tougher to pretend that...

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It's tough when someone special starts to ignore you, it's even tougher to pretend that...