Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.

Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.

Topics: desire Picture Quotes, Funny Picture Quotes, Love Picture Quotes, Women Picture Quotes

Genius is one percent inspiration, two percent perspiration, and ninety seven percent Tesla

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Genius is one percent inspiration, two percent perspiration, and ninety seven percent Tesla

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal and a good woman or a bad woman....

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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal and a good woman or a bad woman....

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's...

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I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's...

You know we're good friends when I no longer feel the need to clean up...

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You know we're good friends when I no longer feel the need to clean up...

If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told...

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If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told...

The more you do, the more mistakes you'll make

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The more you do, the more mistakes you'll make

Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of'em are...

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Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of'em are...

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted

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A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.

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I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.

Drink' till she's cute but stop before the wedding

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Drink' till she's cute but stop before the wedding

We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

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We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

Ahh, a little cancer never hurt anybody. Everybody needs a little cancer I think. It's...

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Ahh, a little cancer never hurt anybody. Everybody needs a little cancer I think. It's...

The reason people use crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bullshit.

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The reason people use crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bullshit.

I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination

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I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination

Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits...

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Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits...

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in...

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I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in...

There is a reason it's called "Girls gone wild" and NOT "Women gone wild". When...

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There is a reason it's called

I want To do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.

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I want To do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.

The sad part is, once you finally let someone have you, they stop doing what...

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The sad part is, once you finally let someone have you, they stop doing what...

A jealous woman does better research that the FBI.

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A jealous woman does better research that the FBI.