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Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays...

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Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays...

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

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It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known,...

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A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known,...

I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.

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I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.

The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up. Arrogance has to be earned. Anomalies...

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The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up. Arrogance has to be earned. Anomalies...

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to the their level and...

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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to the their level and...

I like nonsense it wakes up the brain cells

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I like nonsense it wakes up the brain cells

The advantage of being a freak is it makes you stronger

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The advantage of being a freak is it makes you stronger

Find what you love and let it kill you.

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Find what you love and let it kill you.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

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Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

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When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

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There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

The only reason Debra keeps me alive it to open jars and kill bugs.

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The only reason Debra keeps me alive it to open jars and kill bugs.

Ahh, a little cancer never hurt anybody. Everybody needs a little cancer I think. It's...

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Ahh, a little cancer never hurt anybody. Everybody needs a little cancer I think. It's...

It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that...

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It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that...

When life knocks you down, roll over, and look at the stars.

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When life knocks you down, roll over, and look at the stars.

We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

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We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

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I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

Don't ever let a guy make you feel ugly because no matter what you're beautiful...

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Don't ever let a guy make you feel ugly because no matter what you're beautiful...

One theory about romance novels said that women are so stupid that they can't tell...

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One theory about romance novels said that women are so stupid that they can't tell...

Women emasculate men by treating them like one of their children.

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Women emasculate men by treating them like one of their children.