When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing either the car is new or the wife is.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing either the car is new or the wife is.

Topics: Funny Picture Quotes, Love Picture Quotes, Man Picture Quotes

A witty saying proves nothing

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A witty saying proves nothing

Sex is like math. Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope...

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Sex is like math. Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope...

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in...

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I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in...

Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.

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Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.

The only time you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that...

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The only time you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that...

I'm great in bed I can sleep for days.

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I'm great in bed I can sleep for days.

All I want for Christmas is Money.

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All I want for Christmas is Money.

It symbolize that she's my property and I own her

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It symbolize that she's my property and I own her

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

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The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit...

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I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit...

How do you know Santa has to be a man? No woman is going to...

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How do you know Santa has to be a man? No woman is going to...

Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting one in a fruit...

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Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting one in a fruit...

The only reason Debra keeps me alive it to open jars and kill bugs.

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The only reason Debra keeps me alive it to open jars and kill bugs.

It's great to have someone in your life who makes you hate yourself a little...

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It's great to have someone in your life who makes you hate yourself a little...

Falling in love is like being the frog disected in biology class. They open you...

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Falling in love is like being the frog disected in biology class. They open you...

Life isn't like a bowl of cherries, it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What...

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Life isn't like a bowl of cherries, it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What...

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving...

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I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving...

Everything I like is either illegal, immoral, fattening, expensive or impossible

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Everything I like is either illegal, immoral, fattening, expensive or impossible

Just as women need validation, men need approval. The more a man loves a woman...

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Just as women need validation, men need approval. The more a man loves a woman...

Where there is love there is life.

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Where there is love there is life.

A real man never stops trying to show a girl that he cares about her...

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A real man never stops trying to show a girl that he cares about her...