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If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work
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When nothing goes right.... go left.
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Video games don't affect kids. If Pacman had affected us as kids, we'd all be...
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Joseph: "I'm going to buy them Christmas turkey". Albert: "Buy? Do you really mean buy?"...
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Santa Claus has the right idea : visit people only once a year
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There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....
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A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by...
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...
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Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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There has got to be more to life than just be really, really ridiculously good...
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Is that Vicondin? Breath mint. Thought you were going to kiss me
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A lot of times when a package says 'Open other end', I purposely open the...
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Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother. Santa wrote back: Send me your mother!
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What is Father Christmas' wife called ? Mary Christmas!
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When someone asks me to borrow a book, at first I'm happy they want to...
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If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous...
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No one will win the battle of the sexe, there is too much flirting with...
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What exactly does expression mean "friends with benefits"? Does he provide her with health insurance?
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He who has never experienced hurt cannot experience true love.
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Goodbyes hurt more than anything. Especially when deep down, you know you will never say...
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