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I cared for eight seconds, then I got distracted.

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I cared for eight seconds, then I got distracted.

Nun: Sister Augustine belives in things that aren't real. House: I thought that was a...

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Nun: Sister Augustine belives in things that aren't real. House: I thought that was a...

Gifts allow us to demonstrate exactly how little we know about a person.

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Gifts allow us to demonstrate exactly how little we know about a person.

People choose the paths that grant them the greatest rewards for the least amount of...

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People choose the paths that grant them the greatest rewards for the least amount of...

Most people don't have the guts to admit they'd rather be pretty than healthy. Income's...

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Most people don't have the guts to admit they'd rather be pretty than healthy. Income's...

There's no unconditional love only unconditional need

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There's no unconditional love only unconditional need

Marriages don't fail because couples get bored. They fail because while they're dating people pretend...

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Marriages don't fail because couples get bored. They fail because while they're dating people pretend...

Everything sucks. Might as well find something to smile about.

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Everything sucks. Might as well find something to smile about.

Is that Vicondin? Breath mint. Thought you were going to kiss me

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Is that Vicondin? Breath mint. Thought you were going to kiss me

Time changes everything. That's what people say, it's not true. Doing things changes things. Not...

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Time changes everything. That's what people say, it's not true. Doing things changes things. Not...

Bizarre is good! Common has hundreds of explanations. Bizarre has hardly any.

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Bizarre is good! Common has hundreds of explanations. Bizarre has hardly any.

When I hired you I knew you were insane I will continue to try and...

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When I hired you I knew you were insane I will continue to try and...

You know how they say that you can't live without love? Well oxigen is even...

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You know how they say that you can't live without love? Well oxigen is even...

The eyes can mislead, the smile can lie, but the shoes always tell the truth

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The eyes can mislead, the smile can lie, but the shoes always tell the truth

Perseverance does not equal worthiness. Next time you want to get my attention, wear something...

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Perseverance does not equal worthiness. Next time you want to get my attention, wear something...

The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up. Arrogance has to be earned. Anomalies...

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The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up. Arrogance has to be earned. Anomalies...

People get what they get. It has nothing to do with that they deserve

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People get what they get. It has nothing to do with that they deserve

If you could reason with religious people, there would be no religious people.

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If you could reason with religious people, there would be no religious people.

Eve: ...every life matters to god. House: Not to me, not to you. Judging by...

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Eve: ...every life matters to god. House: Not to me, not to you. Judging by...

Books say: She did this because. Life says: She did this. Books are where things...

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Books say: She did this because. Life says: She did this. Books are where things...

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

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It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

I made me laugh

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I made me laugh