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Don't Panic.Organize!
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Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright, Until you hear them...
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I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...
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If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree.
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If I had not gone into Monty Python, I probably would have stuck to my...
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All right, you guys, just permit me one sentimental moment here. I have something to...
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I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's...
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My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
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This woman I met last week says she wants a guy who is "funny and...
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Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
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A fool always finds one more fool to admire him
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A lot of guys think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent she...
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Why Trick or Treating is better than Sex? You can do the whole neighborhood.
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I've found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes
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How do you know Santa has to be a man? No woman is going to...
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There's more to life than beer, but who cares
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Santa Claus has the right idea : visit people only once a year
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It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...
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A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men
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If you want something you've never had you have to do something you've never done.
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You have to be very rich or very poor to live without a trade.
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Use it
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