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The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11...

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The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11...

I can't do this anymore. I can't keep smiling and being optimistic all the time...

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I can't do this anymore. I can't keep smiling and being optimistic all the time...

Come out of the closet and still be awesome CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

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Come out of the closet and still be awesome CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

All I want is to find a guy like Ted who'll love me like Marshall...

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All I want is to find a guy like Ted who'll love me like Marshall...

Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant. I'm just getting more awesome

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Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant. I'm just getting more awesome

"How are you going to feel when he sees you without any makeup?" "I'm not...

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There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

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There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

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There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

No, it was my fault for thinking that you might care

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No, it was my fault for thinking that you might care

When you're down Friends say: "If you need me, give me a call". Best friends...

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When you're down Friends say:

Nothing feels as good as being loved by my best friend.

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Nothing feels as good as being loved by my best friend.

Sisters make the best friends in the world.

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Sisters make the best friends in the world.

A best friend will spread your secrets but for all the right reasons

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A best friend will spread your secrets but for all the right reasons

It is not so much our friends' help that helps us, as the confidence of...

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It is not so much our friends' help that helps us, as the confidence of...

Best friends are people you know you don’t need to talk to every single day....

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Best friends are people you know you don’t need to talk to every single day....

Best friends make the good times better and the hard times easier.

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Best friends make the good times better and the hard times easier.

A good friend knows all your best stories, a best friend has lived them with...

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A good friend knows all your best stories, a best friend has lived them with...

A true friend can see your tears pouring while other believe the smile you're faking

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A true friend can see your tears pouring while other believe the smile you're faking

In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland....

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In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland....

God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, But I know...

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God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, But I know...

True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.

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True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.