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"How are you going to feel when he sees you without any makeup?" "I'm not...

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The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11...

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The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11...

There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

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There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

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There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits...

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Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits...

Come out of the closet and still be awesome CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

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Come out of the closet and still be awesome CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

I can't do this anymore. I can't keep smiling and being optimistic all the time...

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I can't do this anymore. I can't keep smiling and being optimistic all the time...

When you're down Friends say: "If you need me, give me a call". Best friends...

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When you're down Friends say:

All I want is to find a guy like Ted who'll love me like Marshall...

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All I want is to find a guy like Ted who'll love me like Marshall...

No, it was my fault for thinking that you might care

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No, it was my fault for thinking that you might care

One day she'll start sending you mixed signals, and you'll get mad because she finally...

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One day she'll start sending you mixed signals, and you'll get mad because she finally...

A hug is like a bandage to a hurting wound.

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A hug is like a bandage to a hurting wound.

Life is too short to spend with someone who makes your days difficult.

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Life is too short to spend with someone who makes your days difficult.

He says he loves me only i'm the one who brings him joy but would...

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He says he loves me only i'm the one who brings him joy but would...

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.

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It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.

While someone breaks your heart, another someone is waiting to fix it.

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While someone breaks your heart, another someone is waiting to fix it.

I don’t want a broken heart; cause I'll lose all the pieces

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I don’t want a broken heart; cause I'll lose all the pieces

I'm proud of my heart It's been played, stabbed, cheated, burned and broken but somehow...

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I'm proud of my heart It's been played, stabbed, cheated, burned and broken but somehow...

It hurts to love in vain, hurts even more to know that the one you...

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It hurts to love in vain, hurts even more to know that the one you...

There was a time where I thought you were the love of my life. Things...

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There was a time where I thought you were the love of my life. Things...

God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, But I know...

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God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, But I know...

You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know...

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You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know...