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A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth

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A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth

There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

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There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

I made me laugh

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I made me laugh

Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

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Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

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There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

All I want is to find a guy like Ted who'll love me like Marshall...

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All I want is to find a guy like Ted who'll love me like Marshall...

In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland....

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In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland....

"How are you going to feel when he sees you without any makeup?" "I'm not...

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Come out of the closet and still be awesome CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

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Come out of the closet and still be awesome CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men

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A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men

God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, But I know...

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God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, But I know...

A pretty face will always grow old. A nice body will always change with age....

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A pretty face will always grow old. A nice body will always change with age....

Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that...

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Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that...

I'm perfect in my imperfections, happy in my pain, strong in my weaknesses and beautiful...

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I'm perfect in my imperfections, happy in my pain, strong in my weaknesses and beautiful...

All of us want to look our best. Still, what is considered beautiful or handsome...

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All of us want to look our best. Still, what is considered beautiful or handsome...

You are beautiful. Learn to accept yourself.

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You are beautiful. Learn to accept yourself.

Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.

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Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.

House: No, I hired you because you look good; it's like having a nice piece...

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House: No, I hired you because you look good; it's like having a nice piece...

Every woman is beautiful. It just takes the right man to see it.

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Every woman is beautiful. It just takes the right man to see it.

Come on beautiful pick yourself up and dry your eyes everything will be okay

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Come on beautiful pick yourself up and dry your eyes everything will be okay

Behind every bitch is a woman who got tired of being broken.

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Behind every bitch is a woman who got tired of being broken.

Sex is like math. Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope...

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Sex is like math. Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope...

I can't do this anymore. I can't keep smiling and being optimistic all the time...

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I can't do this anymore. I can't keep smiling and being optimistic all the time...

Talking less it is a woman's adornment

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Talking less it is a woman's adornment