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I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit...

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I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit...

Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you...

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Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you...

Do your thing and don't care if they like it.

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Do your thing and don't care if they like it.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

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Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must...

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All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must...

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from...

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The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from...

Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.

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Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.

Humor is reason gone mad.

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Humor is reason gone mad.

'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that...

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'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that...

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on...

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When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on...

Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of'em are...

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Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of'em are...

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

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Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad...

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Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad...

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

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I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a...

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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a...

So many books, so little time.

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So many books, so little time.

I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.

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I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time...

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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time...