Joseph: "I'm going to buy them Christmas turkey". Albert: "Buy? Do you really mean buy?" Joseph: "Yes, buy! In the Spirit of Christmas. The hard part's going to be stealing the money to pay for it".

Joseph: "I'm going to buy them Christmas turkey". Albert: "Buy? Do you really mean buy?" Joseph: "Yes, buy! In the Spirit of Christmas. The hard part's going to be stealing the money to pay for it".

Topics: Christmas Picture Quotes, Christmas Gift Picture Quotes, Funny Picture Quotes, Funny Xmas card Picture Quotes

This Christmas all I want is true love.

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This Christmas all I want is true love.

Those who donâ€™t believe in magic Will never find it.

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Those who donâ€™t believe in magic Will never find it.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

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It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.

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Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.

Christmas hugs! Take one and pass me on. Hurry before I melt!

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Christmas hugs! Take one and pass me on. Hurry before I melt!

Let's Kiss For Christmas, For our love is strong, Let's Kiss For Christmas, Together is...

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Let's Kiss For Christmas, For our love is strong, Let's Kiss For Christmas, Together is...

Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like...

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Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like...

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree; the presence of a happy family...

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The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree; the presence of a happy family...

Dear Santa, I've been good all ..

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Dear Santa, I've been good all ..

Peace on earth will come to stay, When we live Christmas every day.

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Peace on earth will come to stay, When we live Christmas every day.

Santa Claus has the right idea : visit people only once a year

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Santa Claus has the right idea : visit people only once a year

Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home.

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Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home.

All right, you guys, just permit me one sentimental moment here. I have something to...

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All right, you guys, just permit me one sentimental moment here. I have something to...

Once bitten and twice shy I keep my distance but you still catch my eye...

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Once bitten and twice shy I keep my distance but you still catch my eye...

I knew you would come, Santa! Hey, Santa, where's your big, round belly?

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I knew you would come, Santa! Hey, Santa, where's your big, round belly?

Romantic Christmas gift: Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you...

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Romantic Christmas gift: Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you...

Dear Santa, I've been a very good boy all year. Please stop here

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Dear Santa, I've been a very good boy all year. Please stop here

What's Christmas without a gift, huh? So here's me...with something special for you! It's the...

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What's Christmas without a gift, huh? So here's me...with something special for you! It's the...

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work...

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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work...

On Christmas day better than a wrapped present, a shared experience like a concert, opera,...

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On Christmas day better than a wrapped present, a shared experience like a concert, opera,...

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

Haloween=candy Thanksgiving=food Christmas=gifts New Year=drinks Valentines=sex Birthday=All the above.jpg

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Haloween=candy Thanksgiving=food Christmas=gifts New Year=drinks Valentines=sex Birthday=All the above.jpg