Joseph: "I'm going to buy them Christmas turkey". Albert: "Buy? Do you really mean buy?" Joseph: "Yes, buy! In the Spirit of Christmas. The hard part's going to be stealing the money to pay for it".

Joseph: "I'm going to buy them Christmas turkey". Albert: "Buy? Do you really mean buy?" Joseph: "Yes, buy! In the Spirit of Christmas. The hard part's going to be stealing the money to pay for it".

Topics: Christmas Picture Quotes, Christmas Gift Picture Quotes, Funny Picture Quotes, Funny Xmas card Picture Quotes

Once bitten and twice shy I keep my distance but you still catch my eye...

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Once bitten and twice shy I keep my distance but you still catch my eye...

Every day feels like Christmas since I found you.

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Every day feels like Christmas since I found you.

All right, you guys, just permit me one sentimental moment here. I have something to...

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All right, you guys, just permit me one sentimental moment here. I have something to...

I played Santa Claus many times, if you don't believe it, check out the divorce...

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I played Santa Claus many times, if you don't believe it, check out the divorce...

Romantic Christmas gift: Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you...

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Romantic Christmas gift: Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you...

It'll be lonely this Christmas Without you to hold It'll be lonely this Christmas Lonely...

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It'll be lonely this Christmas Without you to hold It'll be lonely this Christmas Lonely...

Dear Santa All I want is true love this Christmas

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Dear Santa All I want is true love this Christmas

I hear it's offensive to say Merry Christmas? Well it it bothers you then... Merry...

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I hear it's offensive to say Merry Christmas? Well it it bothers you then... Merry...

May peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!

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May peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!

Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.

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Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.

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What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.

This Christmas, mend a quarrel. Seek out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion and replace it...

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This Christmas, mend a quarrel. Seek out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion and replace it...

I want snow this Christmas!

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I want snow this Christmas!

Haloween=candy Thanksgiving=food Christmas=gifts New Year=drinks Valentines=sex Birthday=All the above.jpg

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Haloween=candy Thanksgiving=food Christmas=gifts New Year=drinks Valentines=sex Birthday=All the above.jpg

The biggest present comes in the smallest box. Merry Christmas!

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The biggest present comes in the smallest box. Merry Christmas!

No matter what I get for Christmas you're all I really need.

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No matter what I get for Christmas you're all I really need.

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!

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Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!

If you think Iâ€™m gonna eat the world s lousiest Christmas you're crazy

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If you think Iâ€™m gonna eat the world s lousiest Christmas you're crazy

Most women love old-fashioned finds, on Christmas give her a photo of the two of...

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Most women love old-fashioned finds, on Christmas give her a photo of the two of...

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work...

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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work...

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just...

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I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just...

How do you know Santa has to be a man? No woman is going to...

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How do you know Santa has to be a man? No woman is going to...