Joseph: "I'm going to buy them Christmas turkey". Albert: "Buy? Do you really mean buy?" Joseph: "Yes, buy! In the Spirit of Christmas. The hard part's going to be stealing the money to pay for it".

Joseph: "I'm going to buy them Christmas turkey". Albert: "Buy? Do you really mean buy?" Joseph: "Yes, buy! In the Spirit of Christmas. The hard part's going to be stealing the money to pay for it".

Topics: Christmas Picture Quotes, Christmas Gift Picture Quotes, Funny Picture Quotes, Funny Xmas card Picture Quotes

Dear Santa, yeah, I was naughty this year and it was worth it, you fat...

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Dear Santa, yeah, I was naughty this year and it was worth it, you fat...

When I think of the most wonderful moments of Christmas: the warmth, the sharing, the...

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When I think of the most wonderful moments of Christmas: the warmth, the sharing, the...

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work...

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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work...

Hope your holidays are filled with love!

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Hope your holidays are filled with love!

I knew you would come, Santa! Hey, Santa, where's your big, round belly?

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I knew you would come, Santa! Hey, Santa, where's your big, round belly?

Dear kids of all ages, Santa is coming after a short break

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Dear kids of all ages, Santa is coming after a short break

No matter what I get for Christmas you're all I really need.

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No matter what I get for Christmas you're all I really need.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.

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What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.

Is that special time of year So we are near

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Is that special time of year So we are near

It'll be lonely this Christmas Without you to hold It'll be lonely this Christmas Lonely...

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It'll be lonely this Christmas Without you to hold It'll be lonely this Christmas Lonely...

What is Father Christmas' wife called ? Mary Christmas!

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What is Father Christmas' wife called ? Mary Christmas!

I really wanted to buy each of the kids something fabulous. But have you seen...

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I really wanted to buy each of the kids something fabulous. But have you seen...

May all your dreams come true, this Christmas. May Santa Claus bring joy and luck...

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May all your dreams come true, this Christmas. May Santa Claus bring joy and luck...

Dear Santa, I've been a very good boy all year. Please stop here

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Dear Santa, I've been a very good boy all year. Please stop here

Dear Santa, I've been good this year. Ok. most of the time. Once in a...

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Dear Santa, I've been good this year. Ok. most of the time. Once in a...

Dear Santa, I just want to be happy

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Dear Santa, I just want to be happy

The most enduring traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of...

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The most enduring traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of...

Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your...

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Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your...

Most women love old-fashioned finds, on Christmas give her a photo of the two of...

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Most women love old-fashioned finds, on Christmas give her a photo of the two of...

The biggest present comes in the smallest box. Merry Christmas!

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The biggest present comes in the smallest box. Merry Christmas!

As I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible. But pissing everyone...

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As I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible. But pissing everyone...

What do monkeys sing at Christmas ? Jungle Bells, Jungle bells !

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What do monkeys sing at Christmas ? Jungle Bells, Jungle bells !