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How do you know Santa has to be a man? No woman is going to...

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How do you know Santa has to be a man? No woman is going to...

Im great in bed, I can sleep for days.

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Im great in bed, I can sleep for days.

Time spent with cats is never wasted

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Time spent with cats is never wasted

Only 3 types of people tell the truth: Kids, the drunk and the angry.

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Only 3 types of people tell the truth: Kids, the drunk and the angry.

The advantage of being a freak is it makes you stronger

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The advantage of being a freak is it makes you stronger

When I die I want my last words to be, I left a million dollars...

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When I die I want my last words to be, I left a million dollars...

At supervillain college, crazy laughter is probably a two-semester course

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At supervillain college, crazy laughter is probably a two-semester course

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to the their level and...

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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to the their level and...

New Year's Resolution Last year Need to get in shape for spring This year need...

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New Year's Resolution Last year Need to get in shape for spring This year need...

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

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My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting one in a fruit...

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Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting one in a fruit...

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

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My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

New Year New Girlfriend New Problems.

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New Year New Girlfriend New Problems.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

All right, you guys, just permit me one sentimental moment here. I have something to...

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All right, you guys, just permit me one sentimental moment here. I have something to...

Life is far too serious a thing to talk seriously about.

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Life is far too serious a thing to talk seriously about.

This woman I met last week says she wants a guy who is "funny and...

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This woman I met last week says she wants a guy who is

Haloween=candy Thanksgiving=food Christmas=gifts New Year=drinks Valentines=sex Birthday=All the above.jpg

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Haloween=candy Thanksgiving=food Christmas=gifts New Year=drinks Valentines=sex Birthday=All the above.jpg

Another fresh year is almost here, another brand new year to live! Happy New Year!

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Another fresh year is almost here, another brand new year to live! Happy New Year!

You’re supposed to let go of the past and start off new. You’re supposed to...

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You’re supposed to let go of the past and start off new. You’re supposed to...

Just as a new bloom spreads fragrance and freshness around. May the new year add...

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Just as a new bloom spreads fragrance and freshness around. May the new year add...