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It's funny how you can tell someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when...

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It's funny how you can tell someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when...

If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffe." "If you were my wife I'd...

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If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffe.

The more you do, the more mistakes you'll make

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The more you do, the more mistakes you'll make

The only 'B' word you should call a woman is 'beautiful' . Bitches love being...

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The only 'B' word you should call a woman is 'beautiful' . Bitches love being...

I prefer an interesting vice to a virtue that bores

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I prefer an interesting vice to a virtue that bores

Galaxy's centre tastes of raspberries and smells of rum, say astronomers.

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Galaxy's centre tastes of raspberries and smells of rum, say astronomers.

You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.

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You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.

When I die I want my last words to be, I left a million dollars...

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When I die I want my last words to be, I left a million dollars...

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's...

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I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's...

When I hired you I knew you were insane I will continue to try and...

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When I hired you I knew you were insane I will continue to try and...

You know we're good friends when I no longer feel the need to clean up...

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You know we're good friends when I no longer feel the need to clean up...

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

How do you ask a girl out? Simple. You open the door and say "Get...

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How do you ask a girl out? Simple. You open the door and say

Would you like some aloe vera? You just got burned!

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Would you like some aloe vera? You just got burned!

Age is something that doesn't matter unless you're a cheese.

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Age is something that doesn't matter unless you're a cheese.

Dear Santa, yeah, I was naughty this year and it was worth it, you fat...

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Dear Santa, yeah, I was naughty this year and it was worth it, you fat...

What exactly does expression mean "friends with benefits"? Does he provide her with health insurance?

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What exactly does expression mean

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

New Year New Girlfriend New Problems.

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New Year New Girlfriend New Problems.

Let's make a beautiful world. Happy New Year!

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Let's make a beautiful world. Happy New Year!

You’re supposed to let go of the past and start off new. You’re supposed to...

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You’re supposed to let go of the past and start off new. You’re supposed to...

We are in the last month of the year. Just felt I should thank everyone...

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We are in the last month of the year. Just felt I should thank everyone...