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Smile, it confuses people!

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Smile, it confuses people!

I made me laugh

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I made me laugh

What I feel like when I stop at a red light next to the ladies......

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What I feel like when I stop at a red light next to the ladies......

Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits...

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Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits...

A quiet man is a thinking man, a quiet women is hatching plan

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A quiet man is a thinking man, a quiet women is hatching plan

When a woman is twenty, a child deforms her; when she is thirty, he preserves...

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When a woman is twenty, a child deforms her; when she is thirty, he preserves...

There has got to be more to life than just be really, really ridiculously good...

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There has got to be more to life than just be really, really ridiculously good...

What I think when someone uses the computer What the hell are you doing Why...

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What I think when someone uses the computer What the hell are you doing Why...

In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland....

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In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland....

If the guy's a cutie you've got to tap that booty.

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If the guy's a cutie you've got to tap that booty.

Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. Cause of your butt.

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Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. Cause of your butt.

Tits is a word you can't say on television. That's such a friendly word. It's...

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Tits is a word you can't say on television. That's such a friendly word. It's...

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep...

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I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep...

So many books, so little time.

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So many books, so little time.

The next time someone asks if you have a sec, tell them 'Actually, I have...

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The next time someone asks if you have a sec, tell them 'Actually, I have...

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do...

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The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do...

All I want for Christmas is Money.

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All I want for Christmas is Money.

Happy New Year! Years come and go but what will remain unchanged is my feelings...

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Happy New Year! Years come and go but what will remain unchanged is my feelings...

This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change.

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This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change.

If you asked me for my New Year Resolution, it would be to find out...

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If you asked me for my New Year Resolution, it would be to find out...

Happy New Year 2014 The reason people find it so hard to be happy is...

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Happy New Year 2014 The reason people find it so hard to be happy is...

You’re supposed to let go of the past and start off new. You’re supposed to...

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You’re supposed to let go of the past and start off new. You’re supposed to...