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The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate...

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The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate...

Do you have any books about making friends?

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Do you have any books about making friends?

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger

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What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger

If you wouldn't make her a wife. Then don't make her a mother.

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If you wouldn't make her a wife. Then don't make her a mother.

New Year's Resolutions This year I resolve to be more democratic and I've made a...

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New Year's Resolutions This year I resolve to be more democratic and I've made a...

A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her...

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A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her...

The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11...

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The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11...

I've found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes

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I've found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me

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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

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Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

When someone asks me to borrow a book, at first I'm happy they want to...

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When someone asks me to borrow a book, at first I'm happy they want to...

Every night, I have to read a book, so that my mind will stop thinking...

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Every night, I have to read a book, so that my mind will stop thinking...

I love my computer because my friends live in it

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I love my computer because my friends live in it

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. if you...

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By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. if you...

You know someone is your true friend if you tell a secret and the next...

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You know someone is your true friend if you tell a secret and the next...

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you...

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Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you...

Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.

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Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.

Life isn't like a bowl of cherries, it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What...

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Life isn't like a bowl of cherries, it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What...

Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when...

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Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when...

Live a life of love, honesty, appreciation, kindness and strength. Sprinkled with a little silliness

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Live a life of love, honesty, appreciation, kindness and strength. Sprinkled with a little silliness

I wish life was a remote. Play the easy times. Pause the good times. Fast...

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I wish life was a remote. Play the easy times. Pause the good times. Fast...

If you're going to do something tonight, that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

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If you're going to do something tonight, that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...