My wife wanted me to take her somewhere expensive last night.

My wife wanted me to take her somewhere expensive last night.

Topics: Funny Picture Quotes, Marriage Picture Quotes

Find what you love and let it kill you.

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Find what you love and let it kill you.

Ability is : When you can make three generations of people laugh their socks off...

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Ability is : When you can make three generations of people laugh their socks off...

It's funny how when I'm loud people tell me to be quiet but when I'm...

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It's funny how when I'm loud people tell me to be quiet but when I'm...

A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth

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A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping...

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My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping...

We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

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We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

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Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

Two things are infinite the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the...

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Two things are infinite the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the...

I always think clothes make you look fat, so I prefer to be naked.

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I always think clothes make you look fat, so I prefer to be naked.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

The 8-Track is to today's stereos like what a girlfriend is to wife an earlier,...

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The 8-Track is to today's stereos like what a girlfriend is to wife an earlier,...

The reason people use crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bullshit.

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The reason people use crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bullshit.

Smile, it confuses people!

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Smile, it confuses people!

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright, Until you hear them...

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Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright, Until you hear them...

I'm trying to be a sensitive father, you unwanted moron

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I'm trying to be a sensitive father, you unwanted moron

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

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It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

When life knocks you down, roll over, and look at the stars.

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When life knocks you down, roll over, and look at the stars.

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is...

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The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is...