I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart ! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.

Picture Quote by Robert Orben

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart ! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.

Topics: Funny Picture Quotes, Valentine Picture Quotes, Valentine's Day Picture Quotes

Love is so confusing – you tell a girl she looks great and what’s the...

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Love is so confusing – you tell a girl she looks great and what’s the...

Is that Vicondin? Breath mint. Thought you were going to kiss me

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Is that Vicondin? Breath mint. Thought you were going to kiss me

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. if you...

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By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. if you...

Sex is a sensation caused by temptation. A guy sticks his location in a girl's...

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Sex is a sensation caused by temptation. A guy sticks his location in a girl's...

If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work

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If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

Keep smiling and one day Life will get tired of upsetting you

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Keep smiling and one day Life will get tired of upsetting you

Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your...

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Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your...

Im great in bed, I can sleep for days.

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Im great in bed, I can sleep for days.

On the 12th of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11...

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On the 12th of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11...

The 8-Track is to today's stereos like what a girlfriend is to wife an earlier,...

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The 8-Track is to today's stereos like what a girlfriend is to wife an earlier,...

The PERFECT boyfriend doesn't DRINK, doesn't SMOKE, doesn't CHEAT and doesn't EXIST

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The PERFECT boyfriend doesn't DRINK, doesn't SMOKE, doesn't CHEAT and doesn't EXIST

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex she objects.

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My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex she objects.

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

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When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just...

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I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just...

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

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It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

Lead me not into temptation.. oh hell who am I kidding.. Follow me I know...

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Lead me not into temptation.. oh hell who am I kidding.. Follow me I know...

I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot

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I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot

I played Santa Claus many times, if you don't believe it, check out the divorce...

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I played Santa Claus many times, if you don't believe it, check out the divorce...

Be my Yummy Valentine

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Be my Yummy Valentine