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Love is so confusing – you tell a girl she looks great and what’s the...

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Love is so confusing – you tell a girl she looks great and what’s the...

It's funny how you can tell someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when...

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It's funny how you can tell someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when...

Lead me not into temptation.. oh hell who am I kidding.. Follow me I know...

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Lead me not into temptation.. oh hell who am I kidding.. Follow me I know...

If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told...

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If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told...

A quiet man is a thinking man, a quiet women is hatching plan

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A quiet man is a thinking man, a quiet women is hatching plan

When life knocks you down, roll over, and look at the stars.

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When life knocks you down, roll over, and look at the stars.

Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels

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Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels

Sex is a sensation caused by temptation. A guy sticks his location in a girl's...

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Sex is a sensation caused by temptation. A guy sticks his location in a girl's...

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless,...

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Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless,...

When I die I want my last words to be, I left a million dollars...

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When I die I want my last words to be, I left a million dollars...

So many books, so little time.

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So many books, so little time.

I don't care what people think of me. At least mosquitos find me attractive.

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I don't care what people think of me. At least mosquitos find me attractive.

We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

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We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a...

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Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a...

The most memorable days usually end with the dirtiest clothes

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The most memorable days usually end with the dirtiest clothes

If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion.

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If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion.

You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

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You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

Santa Claus has the right idea : visit people only once a year

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Santa Claus has the right idea : visit people only once a year

Im great in bed, I can sleep for days.

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Im great in bed, I can sleep for days.

Even if I had a hundred reasons to leave you, I'd still look for that...

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Even if I had a hundred reasons to leave you, I'd still look for that...