If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was pretty, I would have exactly one dollar. Thanks, Mom

If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was pretty, I would have exactly one dollar. Thanks, Mom

Topics: Funny Picture Quotes, had a dollar Picture Quotes, Pretty Picture Quotes

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where...

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The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where...

Normal people scare me but not as much as I scare them.

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Normal people scare me but not as much as I scare them.

The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate...

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The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate...

What computer do you have? And please don't say a white one.

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What computer do you have? And please don't say a white one.

Thing is, hope's for sissies.

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Thing is, hope's for sissies.

The most memorable days usually end with the dirtiest clothes

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The most memorable days usually end with the dirtiest clothes

This woman I met last week says she wants a guy who is "funny and...

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This woman I met last week says she wants a guy who is

Be happy in front of people who don't like you, 'It kills them'

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Be happy in front of people who don't like you, 'It kills them'

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same

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Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same

Murphy's Law : Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself

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Murphy's Law : Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger

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What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

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You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

Don't have sex, cause you will get pregnant and die.

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Don't have sex, cause you will get pregnant and die.

She ain't heavy cause she's in my heart already

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She ain't heavy cause she's in my heart already

I rise at six and then I feed the chicks , And I'm feeling lonesome...

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I rise at six and then I feed the chicks , And I'm feeling lonesome...

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit...

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I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit...

Im great in bed, I can sleep for days.

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Im great in bed, I can sleep for days.

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

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The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

You're prettiest when you're happy

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You're prettiest when you're happy

Better to be strong than pretty and useless.

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Better to be strong than pretty and useless.