You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion.

Quote by GKChesterton

Topics: Funny Quotes, Sex Quotes

I believe in getting into hot water. I think it keeps you clean.

I believe in getting into hot water. I think it keeps you clean.

No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or as good as drink.

No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or as good as drink.

To be clever enough to get all the money, one must be stupid enough to...

To be clever enough to get all the money, one must be stupid enough to...

A good novel tells us the truth about it's hero; but a bad novel tells...

A good novel tells us the truth about it's hero; but a bad novel tells...

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age,...

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age,...

There's no such thing as old age, there is only sorrow.

There's no such thing as old age, there is only sorrow.

Always remember this: A kiss will never miss, and after many kisses a miss becomes...

Always remember this: A kiss will never miss, and after many kisses a miss becomes...

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye...

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye...

It is not the young people that degenerate; they are not spoiled till those of...

It is not the young people that degenerate; they are not spoiled till those of...

So one day as a kid I was at the local Zoo. I was bored...

So one day as a kid I was at the local Zoo. I was bored...

For life in general, there is but one decree; youth is a blunder, manhood a...

For life in general, there is but one decree; youth is a blunder, manhood a...

In politics, an absurdity is not a handicap.

In politics, an absurdity is not a handicap.

Anyone else feel kinda weird when your computer asks you if you would like to...

Anyone else feel kinda weird when your computer asks you if you would like to...

Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.

Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.

For my high colestorol my doctor prescribed me a boyfriend.

For my high colestorol my doctor prescribed me a boyfriend.

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper...

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper...

There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best parts.

There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best parts.

It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But...

It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But...

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger...

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger...

Why join the navy if you can be a pirate?

Why join the navy if you can be a pirate?

Sex is simple, love stings afterwards.

Sex is simple, love stings afterwards.