College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

Quote by George Gobel

Topics: College Quotes

My uncle was the town drunk - and we lived in Chicago.

My uncle was the town drunk - and we lived in Chicago.

If you build a better mousetrap, you will catch better mice.

If you build a better mousetrap, you will catch better mice.

If inflation continues to soar, you're going to have to work like a dog just...

If inflation continues to soar, you're going to have to work like a dog just...

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were...

Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were...

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Looking at your textbooks and thinking, 'What a waste of a tree.'

Looking at your textbooks and thinking, 'What a waste of a tree.'

I even lived on campus to get the college experience. I had five roommates and...

I even lived on campus to get the college experience. I had five roommates and...

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Dear google, could you sit next to me during an exam? Sincerely, every student.

Dear google, could you sit next to me during an exam? Sincerely, every student.

'Can I copy your homework?' We had homework?! QUICK gimme your pen!!!

'Can I copy your homework?' We had homework?! QUICK gimme your pen!!!

If you tell folks you're a college student, folks are so impressed. You can be...

If you tell folks you're a college student, folks are so impressed. You can be...

A good college is like unprotected sex: Glad you got in, wish you never came.

A good college is like unprotected sex: Glad you got in, wish you never came.

On the other side of the handrail, the hallway's gray marble floor looks as if...

On the other side of the handrail, the hallway's gray marble floor looks as if...

If I'd stayed at college I would have become a teacher.

If I'd stayed at college I would have become a teacher.

I enjoyed high school and college, and I think I learned a lot, but that...

I enjoyed high school and college, and I think I learned a lot, but that...

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.

'Hey can I borrow a pencil?' 'Yeah but it doesn't have an eraser.' 'Life doesn't...

'Hey can I borrow a pencil?' 'Yeah but it doesn't have an eraser.' 'Life doesn't...

If the professor doesn't show up to class in the first 15 minutes, you get...

If the professor doesn't show up to class in the first 15 minutes, you get...

Exams don't test what you know. They test how well you can study the night...

Exams don't test what you know. They test how well you can study the night...