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I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

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I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

I love mankind, it's people I can't stand

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I love mankind, it's people I can't stand

I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble...

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I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble...

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

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I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

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You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

I have never listened to anyone who criticized my taste in space travel, sideshows or...

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I have never listened to anyone who criticized my taste in space travel, sideshows or...

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

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Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve...

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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve...

Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.

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Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.

I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never...

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I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never...

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time...

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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time...

Say 'provoking' again. Your mouth looks provocative when you do.

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Say 'provoking' again. Your mouth looks provocative when you do.

Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources

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Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

Because you can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let...

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Because you can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let...

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I...

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I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I...

'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that...

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'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that...

You can't get much done in life if you only work on the days when...

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You can't get much done in life if you only work on the days when...

Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy...

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Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy...

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration

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Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration