I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.

Quote by Roseanne Barr

Topics: Roseanne Barr Quotes

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my...

I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my...

My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants...

My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants...

It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about...

It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about...

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take...

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take...

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a...

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a...

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be...

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be...

I was completely nuts for most of my life.

I was completely nuts for most of my life.

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a...

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a...

I know how to do anythingI'm a mom

I know how to do anythingI'm a mom

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the...

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the...

I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and...

I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and...

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time?...

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time?...

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy.

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy.

A child born today in the United Kingdom stands a ten times greater chance of...

A child born today in the United Kingdom stands a ten times greater chance of...

To maintain a joyful family requires much from both the parents and the children. Each...

To maintain a joyful family requires much from both the parents and the children. Each...

Im convinced that God gave us Mondays to punish us for the things we did...

Im convinced that God gave us Mondays to punish us for the things we did...