Excuse the mess but we live here.

Quote by Roseanne Barr

Topics: Roseanne Barr Quotes

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't...

I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't...

A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of...

A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of...

I know how to do anythingI'm a mom

I know how to do anythingI'm a mom

I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and...

I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and...

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the...

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the...

I was completely nuts for most of my life.

I was completely nuts for most of my life.

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be...

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be...

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time?...

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time?...

The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just...

The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just...

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a...

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a...

My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.

My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a...

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a...

I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done...

I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done...

My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants...

My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

May God be praised for woman That gives up all her mind, A man may...

May God be praised for woman That gives up all her mind, A man may...

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not...

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not...