I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.

Quote by Steve Martin

Topics: Funny Quotes, Writers Quotes

There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught...

There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught...

I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an...

I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an...

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

The real joy is in constructing a sentence. But I see myself as an actor...

The real joy is in constructing a sentence. But I see myself as an actor...

An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might...

An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might...

What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease...

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease...

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when...

When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when...

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order...

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order...

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!

Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!

Love is a promise delivered already broken.

Love is a promise delivered already broken.

All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

Well, excuuuuuse me!

Well, excuuuuuse me!

I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural, and wholesome thing that money can...

I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural, and wholesome thing that money can...

Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.

Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.

You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all...

You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all...

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught...

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught...