On my income tax 1040 it says Check this box if you are blind. I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

Quote by Tom Lehrer

Topics: Tom Lehrer Quotes

The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do...

The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do...

Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you...

Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you...

Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught...

Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught...

The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they...

The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they...

Think as you work, for in the final analysis, your worth to your company comes...

Think as you work, for in the final analysis, your worth to your company comes...

When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex.

When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex.

On Christmas day you can't get sore, Your fellow man you must adore, There's time...

On Christmas day you can't get sore, Your fellow man you must adore, There's time...

Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one...

Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one...

In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now...

In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now...

All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder. For filth, I'm glad...

All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder. For filth, I'm glad...

Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your .

Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your .

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead...

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead...

It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been...

It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been...

Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you...

Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you...

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a...

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a...

In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now...

In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now...

All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder. For filth, I'm glad...

All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder. For filth, I'm glad...

He'd noticed that sex bore some resemblance to cookery: It fascinated people, they sometimes bought...

He'd noticed that sex bore some resemblance to cookery: It fascinated people, they sometimes bought...

My books are the books that I am, the confused man, the negligent man, the...

My books are the books that I am, the confused man, the negligent man, the...

We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry, because we didn't think it...

We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry, because we didn't think it...

I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They...

I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They...