The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn't around to propose to her.

Quote by Jarod Kintz

Topics: Funny Marriage Quotes

The other day I went to the Huddle House. I wasnt hungry, I just wanted...

The other day I went to the Huddle House. I wasnt hungry, I just wanted...

Dont go looking for pancakes when you have flapjacks at home.

Dont go looking for pancakes when you have flapjacks at home.

I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In...

I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In...

If I told you Ive worked hard to get where Im at, Id be lying,...

If I told you Ive worked hard to get where Im at, Id be lying,...

The morning always has a way of creeping up on me and peeking in my...

The morning always has a way of creeping up on me and peeking in my...

Im at the top of my game. And that game is Monopoly. Im standing on...

Im at the top of my game. And that game is Monopoly. Im standing on...

My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun.

My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun.

From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we...

From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we...

All men are created Equal. Some just have more Splenda.

All men are created Equal. Some just have more Splenda.

If you work in a hospital, you cant easily fake call in sick to work....

If you work in a hospital, you cant easily fake call in sick to work....

Return something not for the possibility of a reward, but for the joy of giving...

Return something not for the possibility of a reward, but for the joy of giving...

I want to be happy and sad at the same time. Yeah, I know it...

I want to be happy and sad at the same time. Yeah, I know it...

Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no...

Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no...

When I saw you, I saw love. When I saw you naked, I saw lust....

When I saw you, I saw love. When I saw you naked, I saw lust....

If I can delay your action with my inaction, then Ill gladly do nothing for...

If I can delay your action with my inaction, then Ill gladly do nothing for...

The dollar isnt worth its weight in gold, and the pound isnt worth its weight...

The dollar isnt worth its weight in gold, and the pound isnt worth its weight...

I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull...

I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull...

You must not, when you have gained a victory, use any triumphing or insulting expression,...

You must not, when you have gained a victory, use any triumphing or insulting expression,...

Even if the committee carried the message in the exact words with no words missing,...

Even if the committee carried the message in the exact words with no words missing,...

Leadership is an unbelievably hard communications job.

Leadership is an unbelievably hard communications job.

Just because I don't start the conversation, doesn't mean I'm not dying to speak to...

Just because I don't start the conversation, doesn't mean I'm not dying to speak to...

Breasts like granite and a brain like swiss cheese.

Breasts like granite and a brain like swiss cheese.

Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for...

Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for...

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.

What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which...

What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which...

I love you and it's getting worse.

I love you and it's getting worse.