The internet is a stalker. Facebook asks what Im thinking. Twitter asks what Im doing. Foursquare asks where I am.

Topics: Facebook Quotes, Humor Quotes, Internet Quotes, Twitter Quotes

I love it when someone's laugh is funnier than the joke.

I love it when someone's laugh is funnier than the joke.

If you quit Facebook, don't be pissed when I forget your birthday.

If you quit Facebook, don't be pissed when I forget your birthday.

Thanks to Facebook, I now know what everyones bathroom looks like 1 mirror at a...

Thanks to Facebook, I now know what everyones bathroom looks like 1 mirror at a...

I hate having family as friends on Facebook. It makes me think twice about what...

I hate having family as friends on Facebook. It makes me think twice about what...

A breakup isn't official until the minute the heart breaks on Facebook & I dumped...

A breakup isn't official until the minute the heart breaks on Facebook & I dumped...

When I was younger, I would put my face close to a fan & talk...

When I was younger, I would put my face close to a fan & talk...

Don't be posting nothing up on my wall, stay off my Facebook. And don't be...

Don't be posting nothing up on my wall, stay off my Facebook. And don't be...

Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from a picture that makes her look...

Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from a picture that makes her look...

They want you to come to their self pity party, so they broadcast their discontent...

They want you to come to their self pity party, so they broadcast their discontent...

Awkwardly standing there, as your friend is talking to someone you don't know.

Awkwardly standing there, as your friend is talking to someone you don't know.

If you're really 'just done', unfriend and block him. Don't play cat-and-mouse with pseudo-mysterious statuses.

If you're really 'just done', unfriend and block him. Don't play cat-and-mouse with pseudo-mysterious statuses.

If your relationship is so complicated that you have to specify it as such on...

If your relationship is so complicated that you have to specify it as such on...

Sunglasses allow an individual to stare at people without them knowing. It is Facebook in...

Sunglasses allow an individual to stare at people without them knowing. It is Facebook in...

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

Facebook and Twitter don't destroy relationships. If anything, they just bring to light what someone's...

Facebook and Twitter don't destroy relationships. If anything, they just bring to light what someone's...

The older the Facebook post, the creepier your 'Like' becomes.

The older the Facebook post, the creepier your 'Like' becomes.

If you're having relationship problems, confess to God not Facebook.

If you're having relationship problems, confess to God not Facebook.

Taking an awesome picture and thinking...'Yep, That's going on Facebook!'

Taking an awesome picture and thinking...'Yep, That's going on Facebook!'

The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five...

The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five...

And it really pisses Peter and Micky off when I get onto one of those...

And it really pisses Peter and Micky off when I get onto one of those...

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

Telling someone that you're going to bed, when you're actually not and then having to...

Telling someone that you're going to bed, when you're actually not and then having to...