Quotes by Scott Roeben

I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting...

#Funny, #Jokes

Those prizes in Cracker Jacks are a joke. I once got a magnifying glass. It...

#Funny, #Jokes

They say God has existed from the beginning of time and will exist beyond the...

#Funny, #God

As a lover, I'm about as impressive as a magician on the radio.

#Funny, #Sex

What's the most popular pastime in America? Autoeroticism, hands down.

#Funny, #Sex

Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is...

#Funny, #Sex

I have no luck with women. I once went on a date and asked the...

#Women

I'm a terrible lover. I've actually given a woman an anti-climax.

#Women

I once dated a girl on the track team. It didn't work out. She kept...

#Dating, #Funny