Quotes by Garrison Keillor

The funniest line in English is Get it? When you say that, everyone chortles.

#Garrison Keillor

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

#Garrison Keillor

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering,...

#Garrison Keillor

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

#Garrison Keillor

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

#Garrison Keillor

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

#Garrison Keillor

I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think...

#Garrison Keillor

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

#Garrison Keillor

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

#Garrison Keillor

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far...

#Garrison Keillor

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

#Garrison Keillor

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to...

#Clocks