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The eyes are the groin of the head.
#Dwight Schrute
My feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man.
#Dwight Schrute
Before I do anything I ask myself Would an idiot do that? And if the...
#Dwight Schrute
You know whats better than a triceratops. Only every other dinosaur that has ever existed.
#Dwight Schrute
When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was...
#Dwight Schrute
I am faster than 80% of all snakes.
#Dwight Schrute
I dont care what Jim says, that is not Benjamin Franklin. I am 99% sure.
#Dwight Schrute
I dont believe you, continue.
#Dwight Schrute
When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me...
#Dwight Schrute
Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects...
#Dwight Schrute
There are 40 rules all Schrute boys must learn by age 5. Rule 17- There...
#Dwight Schrute
I train my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I...
#Dwight Schrute
Would I ever leave this company? Look, Im all about loyalty. In fact, I feel...
#Dwight Schrute
How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammermercilessinsatiable
#Dwight Schrute
I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake...
#Dwight Schrute
The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition wont...
#Dwight Schrute
I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position...
#Dwight Schrute
Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with...
#Dwight Schrute
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