Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.

Quote by Dwight Schrute

Topics: Dwight Schrute Quotes

I like the people that I work with, generally. With four exceptions. And I did...

I like the people that I work with, generally. With four exceptions. And I did...

How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammermercilessinsatiable

How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammermercilessinsatiable

I train my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I...

I train my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I...

I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy...

I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy...

A 30-year mortgage at Michaels age essentially means that hes buying a coffin. If I...

A 30-year mortgage at Michaels age essentially means that hes buying a coffin. If I...

The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition wont...

The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition wont...

You know whats better than a triceratops. Only every other dinosaur that has ever existed.

You know whats better than a triceratops. Only every other dinosaur that has ever existed.

Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects...

Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects...

I am not a security threat, and my middle name is Kurt, not Fart.

I am not a security threat, and my middle name is Kurt, not Fart.

Yes I have acted before. I was in a production of Oklahoma! in the 7th...

Yes I have acted before. I was in a production of Oklahoma! in the 7th...

There are 40 rules all Schrute boys must learn by age 5. Rule 17- There...

There are 40 rules all Schrute boys must learn by age 5. Rule 17- There...

My feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man.

My feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man.

I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake...

I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake...

Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up I performed my own...

Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up I performed my own...

Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with...

Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with...

As a farmer I know that when an animal is sick sometimes the right thing...

As a farmer I know that when an animal is sick sometimes the right thing...

When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was...

When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was...

I signed up for Second Life about a year ago. Back then, my life was...

I signed up for Second Life about a year ago. Back then, my life was...

Dolphins get a lot of good publicity for the drowning swimmers they push back to...

Dolphins get a lot of good publicity for the drowning swimmers they push back to...

I dont believe you, continue.

I dont believe you, continue.