Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.

Quote by Dwight Schrute

Topics: Dwight Schrute Quotes

Why tip someone for a job Im capable of doing myself? I can deliver food....

Why tip someone for a job Im capable of doing myself? I can deliver food....

I am faster than 80% of all snakes.

I am faster than 80% of all snakes.

As a farmer I know that when an animal is sick sometimes the right thing...

As a farmer I know that when an animal is sick sometimes the right thing...

Before I do anything I ask myself Would an idiot do that? And if the...

Before I do anything I ask myself Would an idiot do that? And if the...

How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammermercilessinsatiable

How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammermercilessinsatiable

I dont care what Jim says, that is not Benjamin Franklin. I am 99% sure.

I dont care what Jim says, that is not Benjamin Franklin. I am 99% sure.

Would I ever leave this company? Look, Im all about loyalty. In fact, I feel...

Would I ever leave this company? Look, Im all about loyalty. In fact, I feel...

I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake...

I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake...

My feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man.

My feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man.

He was already dead, and we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat...

He was already dead, and we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat...

I signed up for Second Life about a year ago. Back then, my life was...

I signed up for Second Life about a year ago. Back then, my life was...

Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with...

Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with...

The eyes are the groin of the head.

The eyes are the groin of the head.

Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up I performed my own...

Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up I performed my own...

I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position...

I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position...

Dolphins get a lot of good publicity for the drowning swimmers they push back to...

Dolphins get a lot of good publicity for the drowning swimmers they push back to...

A 30-year mortgage at Michaels age essentially means that hes buying a coffin. If I...

A 30-year mortgage at Michaels age essentially means that hes buying a coffin. If I...

You know whats better than a triceratops. Only every other dinosaur that has ever existed.

You know whats better than a triceratops. Only every other dinosaur that has ever existed.

I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy...

I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy...

Yes I have acted before. I was in a production of Oklahoma! in the 7th...

Yes I have acted before. I was in a production of Oklahoma! in the 7th...