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Topics: Funny Quotes, Insults Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Witty Quotes

I don't care how many warnings I get, I am still going to eat raw...

I don't care how many warnings I get, I am still going to eat raw...

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how...

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how...

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Me fail english? Thats unpossible.

Me fail english? Thats unpossible.

Every age needs men who will redeem the time by living with a vision of...

Every age needs men who will redeem the time by living with a vision of...

The ruling ideas of each age have ever been the ideas of its ruling class.

The ruling ideas of each age have ever been the ideas of its ruling class.

Beauty and ugliness disappear equally under the wrinkles of age; one is lost in them...

Beauty and ugliness disappear equally under the wrinkles of age; one is lost in them...

When entering into a marriage one ought to ask oneself: do you believe you are...

When entering into a marriage one ought to ask oneself: do you believe you are...

I've got a very poor sense of direction. I keep forgetting which way is forwards.

I've got a very poor sense of direction. I keep forgetting which way is forwards.

Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because...

Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because...

Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'

Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.

Age, like distance, lends a double charm.

Age, like distance, lends a double charm.

The past is a ghost, the future a dream. All we ever have is now.

The past is a ghost, the future a dream. All we ever have is now.

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her...

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her...

In politics, if you want anything said ask a man. If you want anything done,...

In politics, if you want anything said ask a man. If you want anything done,...

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

If we desire to avoid insult, we must be able to repel it; if we...

If we desire to avoid insult, we must be able to repel it; if we...

Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to...

Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to...

I don't at all like knowing what people say of me behind my back. It...

I don't at all like knowing what people say of me behind my back. It...