Home
Quotes
Picture quotes
Random
Facebook Covers
Home
Quotes
Picture quotes
Random
Facebook Covers
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
Quote by Daniel Tosh
Topics:
Daniel Tosh Quotes
Related Quotes
Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code...
Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or...
I'm all for women who get plastic surgery. Because plastic surgery allows you to make...
Until I was thirteen I thought my name was Shutup.
No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb......
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases...
My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had... so he...
In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage away. They make it into television...
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.
I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO...
My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, Well...
The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think...
Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.
Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home...
Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither...
Sometimes I think [my husband] is so amazing that I don't know why he's with...
Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.