Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

Quote by Daniel Tosh

Topics: Daniel Tosh Quotes

If you had to eat another human to survive, do you think they'd taste like...

If you had to eat another human to survive, do you think they'd taste like...

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few...

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few...

I'm all for women who get plastic surgery. Because plastic surgery allows you to make...

I'm all for women who get plastic surgery. Because plastic surgery allows you to make...

If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.

If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.

Until I was thirteen I thought my name was Shutup.

Until I was thirteen I thought my name was Shutup.

Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I...

Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I...

If the minimum wasn't acceptable it wouldn't be called the minimum.

If the minimum wasn't acceptable it wouldn't be called the minimum.

Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't...

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't...

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think...

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think...

My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, Well...

My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, Well...

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I...

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I...

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code...

Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code...

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO...

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO...

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home...

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home...

Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to...

Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to...

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or...

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or...