If the minimum wasn't acceptable it wouldn't be called the minimum.

Quote by Daniel Tosh

Topics: Daniel Tosh Quotes

Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer,...

Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer,...

I'm all for women who get plastic surgery. Because plastic surgery allows you to make...

I'm all for women who get plastic surgery. Because plastic surgery allows you to make...

Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code...

Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code...

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I...

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I...

Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.

Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.

Sometimes my mind wanders; other times it leaves completely.

Sometimes my mind wanders; other times it leaves completely.

Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

There is nothing so annoying as having two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

There is nothing so annoying as having two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few...

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few...

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!

Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I...

Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I...

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think...

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think...

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or...

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or...

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases...

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases...

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home...

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home...

My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had... so he...

My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had... so he...

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't...

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't...

Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to...

Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to...

In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage away. They make it into television...

In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage away. They make it into television...

If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.

If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.