You might be a redneck if ...the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

Quote by Jeff Foxworthy

Topics: Humor Quotes

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any...

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any...

It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.

It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year...

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year...

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to...

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to...

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in...

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in...

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls...

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls...

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a...

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a...

Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money,...

Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money,...

I really don't require a whole lot in life.

I really don't require a whole lot in life.

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in...

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in...

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it,...

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it,...

I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of...

I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of...

I call our bathroom 'The Vault' because the door's always locked and whatever goes on...

I call our bathroom 'The Vault' because the door's always locked and whatever goes on...

The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked...

The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked...

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.

Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.