When people ask me why I don't have any tattoos I ask them 'Would you put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?'

Topics: Facebook Status Quotes

If your girlfriend claims that she never looks at your Facebook profile; Try changing your...

That awkward moment when you realize you've kept talking even after your call dropped out...

That awkward moment when you realize you've kept talking even after your call dropped out...

I hate it when I am singing a song and the artist gets the words...

I hate it when I am singing a song and the artist gets the words...

Just deleted some friends on Facebook, if you're reading this then you're one of the...

Just deleted some friends on Facebook, if you're reading this then you're one of the...

Ever notice when your eating cereal, the back of the box suddenly becomes super interesting?

Ever notice when your eating cereal, the back of the box suddenly becomes super interesting?

Even if you aren't hungry, the worst thing you can be told after a dentist...

Even if you aren't hungry, the worst thing you can be told after a dentist...

There is no bigger waste of time than a shower followed by huge dump.

There is no bigger waste of time than a shower followed by huge dump.

When you're doing something you aren't supposed to, every small noise scares the shit out...

When you're doing something you aren't supposed to, every small noise scares the shit out...

I hate when I can't remember if I am drying off my face with the...

I hate when I can't remember if I am drying off my face with the...

The word 'bed' is shaped like an actual bed.

The word 'bed' is shaped like an actual bed.

Standing there in front of a closet full of clothes and thinking to yourself, 'I...

Standing there in front of a closet full of clothes and thinking to yourself, 'I...

I'm in a love/hate relationship with my bed. I love crawling into it at night,...

I'm in a love/hate relationship with my bed. I love crawling into it at night,...

We always ignore the ones who adore us, and adore the ones who ignore us.

We always ignore the ones who adore us, and adore the ones who ignore us.

It's Friday...any plan of being a productive member of society is officially thrown out the...

It's Friday...any plan of being a productive member of society is officially thrown out the...

Seeing quotes and thinking, oh thank god im not the only one!

Seeing quotes and thinking, oh thank god im not the only one!

It's a bird! It's a plane! Oh wait..It's the flying f*ck I will never give.

It's a bird! It's a plane! Oh wait..It's the flying f*ck I will never give.

If your relationship is so complicated that you have to specify it as such on...

If your relationship is so complicated that you have to specify it as such on...

Profile Pictures: What people want them to think they look like. Tagged Pictures: What they...