When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned…

Quote by Josh Billings

Topics: Funny Quotes, Parents Quotes

It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its...

It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its...

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions...

Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions...

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck...

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck...

Silence is said to be golden, but the best fools the world has ever produced...

Silence is said to be golden, but the best fools the world has ever produced...

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal...

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal...

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who...

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who...

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

I've never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for...

I've never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for...

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.

Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for...

Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for...

A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.

A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.

It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.

It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.

I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable...

I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable...