When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned…

Quote by Josh Billings

Topics: Funny Quotes, Parents Quotes

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

There are two things in this life for which we are never fully prepared and...

There are two things in this life for which we are never fully prepared and...

Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to...

Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to...

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he...

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he...

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense...

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense...

I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time...

I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time...

The less we know the more we suspect

The less we know the more we suspect

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck...

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck...

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home...

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home...

Contentment is a kind of moral laziness; if thare want ennything but contentment in his...

Contentment is a kind of moral laziness; if thare want ennything but contentment in his...

If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to...

If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to...

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself...

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself...

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist:...

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist:...

Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.

Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral...

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral...

Arab leaders worry more about making money from the profits they get from oil and...

Arab leaders worry more about making money from the profits they get from oil and...

As long as you have a system that is based on the rational that if...

As long as you have a system that is based on the rational that if...

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.