When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned…

Quote by Josh Billings

Topics: Funny Quotes, Parents Quotes

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors

Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for...

Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for...

I've never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for...

I've never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for...

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent...

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent...

When a young man begins to go down hill everything seems to be greased for...

When a young man begins to go down hill everything seems to be greased for...

My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life,...

My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life,...

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you...

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you...

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself...

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself...

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affection is seasickness; a man who...

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affection is seasickness; a man who...

Reason often makes mistakes but conscience never does.

Reason often makes mistakes but conscience never does.

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't...

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't...

The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so...

The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so...

Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be...

Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be...

Life consists not in holding good cards, but in playing those you hold well.

Life consists not in holding good cards, but in playing those you hold well.

We hate those who will not take our advice and despise those who do.

We hate those who will not take our advice and despise those who do.

Remember the poor, it costs nothing.

Remember the poor, it costs nothing.

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.

It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who...

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who...