When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned…

Quote by Josh Billings

Topics: Funny Quotes, Parents Quotes

Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.

Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.

Some folks are wise and some otherwise.

Some folks are wise and some otherwise.

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.

There are two things in this life for which we are never fully prepared and...

There are two things in this life for which we are never fully prepared and...

Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs.

Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs.

Contentment is a kind of moral laziness; if thare want ennything but contentment in his...

Contentment is a kind of moral laziness; if thare want ennything but contentment in his...

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't...

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't...

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living...

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living...

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at...

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at...

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has...

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has...

When a man comes to me for advice I find out the kind of advice...

When a man comes to me for advice I find out the kind of advice...

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who...

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who...

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you...

Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you...

If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could...

If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could...

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their...

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their...

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can...

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can...