When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Quote by Peter O'Toole

Topics: Funny Quotes, God Quotes

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized...

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized...

No matter what age you are, or what your circumstances might be, you are special,...

No matter what age you are, or what your circumstances might be, you are special,...

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me...

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me...

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films.

The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take...

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take...

A truly great book should be read in youth, again in maturity and once more...

A truly great book should be read in youth, again in maturity and once more...

There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it...

There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it...

The passions grafted on wounded pride are the most inveterate; they are green and vigorous...

The passions grafted on wounded pride are the most inveterate; they are green and vigorous...

I DON'T have EX's! I have Y's. Like 'Y the hell did I date you?!'

I DON'T have EX's! I have Y's. Like 'Y the hell did I date you?!'

There are a good many fools who call me a friend, and also a good...

There are a good many fools who call me a friend, and also a good...

I thought coq au vin was love in a lorry.

I thought coq au vin was love in a lorry.

The philosophies of one age have become the absurdities of the next, and the foolishness...

The philosophies of one age have become the absurdities of the next, and the foolishness...

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look...

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look...

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this...

Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this...

The average Americans day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charless dart board.

The average Americans day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charless dart board.

Reputation is what men and women think of us; character is what God and angels...

Reputation is what men and women think of us; character is what God and angels...