Well, I'll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes! When I RSVP to a party I make it my business to come!

Quote by Samantha Jones

Topics: Samantha Jones Quotes

No one thinks it's narcissistic when you get your seventh grade picture taken.

No one thinks it's narcissistic when you get your seventh grade picture taken.

I spent the last two hours f**king with no finale.

I spent the last two hours f**king with no finale.

Emotional" is just code for "I don't want to hire a woman.

I take offense at that generalisation. Not all women sit around and obsess about men,...

I take offense at that generalisation. Not all women sit around and obsess about men,...

I don't know how you people do it! All that emotional chow chow, it's exhausting!

I don't know how you people do it! All that emotional chow chow, it's exhausting!

Well, its tedious and the sex is dwindeling, so from what I've heard, yes!

Well, its tedious and the sex is dwindeling, so from what I've heard, yes!

Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good, you don't have it anymore....

Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good, you don't have it anymore....

Hey, you almost masturbated, he almost got it up, together you almost had sex.

Hey, you almost masturbated, he almost got it up, together you almost had sex.

For the last time, the only thing I like about Richard is his big,throbbing, rock...

For the last time, the only thing I like about Richard is his big,throbbing, rock...

Can we cut the cake? I have a three-way to go to.

Can we cut the cake? I have a three-way to go to.

Hi, my name is Samantha and I am a love-aholic

Hi, my name is Samantha and I am a love-aholic

Who cares what you are just enjoy it!

Who cares what you are just enjoy it!

All married couples stop having sex eventually.

All married couples stop having sex eventually.

I will wear whatever and blow whomever I want as long as I can breathe...

I will wear whatever and blow whomever I want as long as I can breathe...

Honey, what's the point of being in the suburbs if you're not going to f**k...

Honey, what's the point of being in the suburbs if you're not going to f**k...

Be damn sure before you get off the ferris wheel, because there are twenty-two perky...

Be damn sure before you get off the ferris wheel, because there are twenty-two perky...

Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.

Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.

All we ever do is lie around, take baths together and talk about feelings.

All we ever do is lie around, take baths together and talk about feelings.

Hello, 911? I'm on fire.

Hello, 911? I'm on fire.

Transexuals. Chicks with d**ks. Boobs on top, balls down below.

Transexuals. Chicks with d**ks. Boobs on top, balls down below.