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Now tequila may be the favoured beverage of outlaws but that doesn't mean it gives...

Now tequila may be the favoured beverage of outlaws but that doesn't mean it gives...

No officer, my speech isn't slurred. I'm just talking in cursive.

No officer, my speech isn't slurred. I'm just talking in cursive.

It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of...

It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of...

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Drunkards are doomed to hell, so men declare, Believe it not, 'tis but a foolish...

Drunkards are doomed to hell, so men declare, Believe it not, 'tis but a foolish...

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning,...

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning,...

Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I...

Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I...

Drunkenness was in good repute in England till Bloody Mary frowned upon it; it remained...

Drunkenness was in good repute in England till Bloody Mary frowned upon it; it remained...

Nobody cares that youre smart and nobody cares that your kids dont have bruises.

Nobody cares that youre smart and nobody cares that your kids dont have bruises.

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvellous personality that started you...

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvellous personality that started you...

We know smoking tobacco is not good for kids, but a lot of other things...

We know smoking tobacco is not good for kids, but a lot of other things...

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

To say nothing, especially when speaking, is half the art of diplomacy.

To say nothing, especially when speaking, is half the art of diplomacy.

A man may acquire a taste for wine or brandy, and so lose his love...

A man may acquire a taste for wine or brandy, and so lose his love...

Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian.

Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian.

It's like gambling somehow. You go out for a night of drinking and you don't...

It's like gambling somehow. You go out for a night of drinking and you don't...

I know folks all have a tizzy about it, but I like a little bourbon...

I know folks all have a tizzy about it, but I like a little bourbon...

Turning on the TV: 10% to watch shows and 90% to use it as background...

Turning on the TV: 10% to watch shows and 90% to use it as background...

We always ignore the ones who adore us, and adore the ones who ignore us.

We always ignore the ones who adore us, and adore the ones who ignore us.

The sad moment when you return to your boring and ordinary life after watching an...

The sad moment when you return to your boring and ordinary life after watching an...

Life, like all other games, becomes fun when one realizes that it's just a game.

Life, like all other games, becomes fun when one realizes that it's just a game.