Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

Quote by David Letterman

Topics: David Letterman Quotes

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going...

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going...

The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were...

The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic...

Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic...

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete...

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete...

Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck....

Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck....

There is no off position on the genius switch.

There is no off position on the genius switch.

We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has...

We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has...

It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what...

It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what...

Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing.

Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing.

There is a new billboard outside Time Square. It keeps an up-to minute count of...

There is a new billboard outside Time Square. It keeps an up-to minute count of...

President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage...

President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage...

We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and...

We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and...

Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand...

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does...

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does...

Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

The New Yorker has devoted itself for 59 years not only to facts and literal...

The New Yorker has devoted itself for 59 years not only to facts and literal...

I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic....

I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic....

New York... is a city of geometric heights, a petrified desert of grids and lattices,...

New York... is a city of geometric heights, a petrified desert of grids and lattices,...

I think that New York is not the cultural centre of America, but the business...

I think that New York is not the cultural centre of America, but the business...