Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?

Quote by Bill Maher

Topics: Bill Maher Quotes

Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more...

Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more...

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Men are only as loyal as their options

Men are only as loyal as their options

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen...

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen...

Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.

Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.

A group of Cuban Americans denounced the Castro government as a fascist regime that monitors...

A group of Cuban Americans denounced the Castro government as a fascist regime that monitors...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed...

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed...

People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort...

People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort...

Suicide is man's way of telling God, You can't fire me - I quit

Suicide is man's way of telling God, You can't fire me - I quit

When we make mistakes they call it evil

When we make mistakes they call it evil

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make...

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make...

When sex is good theres nothing better, when its bad its not bad.

When sex is good theres nothing better, when its bad its not bad.

I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and...

I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and...

My wife always has a splitting archetype whenever I want to have sex.

My wife always has a splitting archetype whenever I want to have sex.

If I wanted to have wooden sex with strings attached I'd get married. In reference...

If I wanted to have wooden sex with strings attached I'd get married. In reference...

All my movies have an autobiographical dimension, but that is indirectly, through the characters. In...

All my movies have an autobiographical dimension, but that is indirectly, through the characters. In...

Good morning starshine, the Earth says hello!

Good morning starshine, the Earth says hello!