Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?

Quote by Bill Maher

Topics: Bill Maher Quotes

A group of Cuban Americans denounced the Castro government as a fascist regime that monitors...

A group of Cuban Americans denounced the Castro government as a fascist regime that monitors...

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to...

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to...

The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says...

The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says...

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make...

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make...

I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and...

I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and...

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something...

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something...

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich...

This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich...

People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort...

People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort...

It's all been satirized for your protection.

It's all been satirized for your protection.

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying...

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying...

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else...

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else...

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make...

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make...

Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

My loins are full of anguish.

My loins are full of anguish.

Sex is a natural function. You can't make it happen, but you can teach people...

Sex is a natural function. You can't make it happen, but you can teach people...