There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Quote by Will Rogers
One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.
Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.
Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.
Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
Never miss a chance to shut up
Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.
When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds
Alexander Hamilton originated the put and take system in our national treasury: the taxpayers put...
Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for...
I don't know what humor is. Anything that's funny -- tragedy or anything, it don't...
People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you...
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year...
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when...
Do not separate text from historical background. If you do, you will have perverted and...
That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves.
Freedom of expression - in particular, freedom of the press - guarantees popular participation in...